This last week has been great here in the CTM (centro de treinamento missionario, yes we call it the CTM). It really is amazing how fast time goes. This Friday we go proselyting for in the streets around the CTM for 4 hours. Please, please pray for me. I feel confident because of my faith in the Lord, but not in my own ability. Portuguese really is coming along, and I think I am much harder on myself than I ought to be, but I just want to improve and improve.
My mind has been on going to the field a lot lately, and its crazy to think how truly soon it is. Driving back from the Temple today, I saw two missionaries when we were stopped at a light. I rolled down the window and yelled to them and showed them my tag and I told them I’m going to Sao Paulo Norte. One said "That’s my mission!!" It was a really simple, but really encouraging to see these two Elders walking fast up the street. I’m really looking forward to preaching the gospel. This truly is the most challenging thing I’ve ever done in my life. Learning a new language is so hard on the mind and the heart. I am not only physically exhausted at the end of each day, but I’m so emotionally exhausted from giving my whole heart to every day.
On Monday, my whole district had one of the most challenging days here in the CTM. We had a surprise lesson we had to teach in Portuguese and no one got to prepare for it. My companion got really frustrated and didn’t say a lot (it was a rough day for him, he’s awesome and definitely a trooper) so lots of it was on me. I could say what I wanted but it was just slow and my mind was moving so fast. I had to ask a few questions about conjugating. I was teaching an Elder a week in front of us who had much more freedom in speaking, so I began to compare myself. it was so frustrating. When we all were back in our classroom after teaching, the frustration was tangible. It was amazing how much you could feel the emotions in the room. I wasn't exercising as positive thoughts as I usually do, but then weightlifting with Daniel came into my mind. I was thinking about our chest workouts that we would get so pumped up for. I remember receiving texts from him saying things like "an hour until a monster chest workout, I’m so pumped bro" and I would say the same in return. When we worked out we would destroy our muscles to the point that at the end of a workout, we couldn't do one push up. Was this because we were weak? No, we could (I say could, because there’s no way I can now, but that’s okay) both lift 100 more than we weigh. It's because we had worked really, really hard. We would walk out of the gym high fiving each other after an embarrassing light last set. We took joy, in breaking down our muscles, re-cooperating, and doing it again. I began to look at my frustration in Portuguese as a really good workout, and man was it good! I am grateful for the perspective the gym has given me.
My time is flashing on the screen but know that I love you so much. I pray for you everyday. I’m so grateful for a Celestial family on earth. We really are so blessed. The church is true.
Love love, love, Spencer
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